Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Violence Against Joe Biden Act

The Violence Against Joe Biden Act
Incarceration or exoneration - The 14 million man surrender looms on the horizon
http://mensnewsdaily.com/blog/2006/01/satire-enforcing-violence-against-joe.htm

Jim Untershine, GZS of LB, 01-29-06

American parents may choose to prompt legislation to grant advocates of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) the same accommodations. Daughters are currently empowered by VAWA to destroy the lives of sons by simply choosing to call the cops. The agencies that receive funding from VAWA are paid to advocate the use of these special rules and to strictly enforce the laws that fall within this ‘domestic violence’ category.

The new legislation would allow Joe Biden to call the police and make false allegations of violence against him by anyone he resides with, and to obtain a restraining order against them. Those who offend Joe Biden will be arrested and must defend themselves in criminal court which may result in one year in jail, unless they confess to their transgressions and agree to attend anger management classes every week for a year (costing up to $45/class). Failing to afford the weekly anger management class or the monthly restitution, or contacting Joe Biden to request the return of personal belongings, or violating the law in any way will force the probation officer to demand that the court order the offender to serve the one year suspended sentence.

The full weight of the law will fall on your shoulders if you reside with Joe Biden and fail to move fast enough to get out of the way when he walks through a doorway, or if you destroy a phone in the same room as Joe, or raise your voice at him, or ask Joe to move out of your house. Joe Biden may choose to take your children and seek asylum in a federally funded shelter for Joe if skeptical cops refuse to arrest you in response to the aforementioned allegations. Joe Biden will receive instructions on how to focus the law to force you to give Joe your house and your furnishings, to deny you and your parents any contact with your children, and to force you to pay monthly restitution to Joe for choosing to support him and your kids.

Only when Joe Biden is empowered by the same laws that are afforded to women, will he feel the same threat of preemptory or retaliatory violence that is provoked by these laws. Anyone who resides with Joe Biden may be aware of his empowerment and may choose to ‘nip the problem in the bud’ by eliminating the source of potential allegations that would unleash the full force of these laws that exist to protect Joe from others. Only then will Joe Biden feel the same anxiety that was felt by the family of Latoyia Figueroa, Laci Peterson, Lori Hacking, Chandra Levy, and Bonny Lee Bakely. Only when Joe Biden is victimized by the same laws that are afforded to women, will he feel the same urge toward misdirected anguish, that we feel motivated the perpetrators of the foregoing homicides.

The laws against domestic violence can easily be used by financially dependant partners who secretly decide to start their next relationship before terminating the last. ‘No fault’ divorce allows this act of betrayal to be used as a tool to guarantee tax free restitution from the monogamous partner if they fail to repress a common human reaction. The breadwinning partner will be viewed by the court as the litigant who will pay for the court costs regardless of the finding of fact.

Police officers are not immune - as reported by the Salt Lake Tribune : “Up until two years ago, Art Henderson appeared to be at the top of his game. A Lehi police officer, he worked on the SWAT team, taught a self-defense class for women and instructed his fellow officers on when it was appropriate to use force.”, “He assaulted a man who was dating his wife, an incident that led to his termination in July 2004. The assault charge would be the first of three filed against him during the next 18 months. His wife, Natalie Henderson, who says he abused and threatened to kill her, later filed for divorce, sparking a bitter custody battle. Finally, on the streets he once patrolled as a peace officer, Art Henderson snapped Friday morning. After crashing his pickup truck into a car driven by his estranged wife, Henderson shot and wounded her boyfriend, Craig Trimble, who was in the passenger seat. He then fired at police officers - his former colleagues - who fired back, striking him in his left knee and foot.

Lawyers are not immune - as reported by Richmond Times-Dispatch : Jablin was ambushed in his driveway on a chilly October morning. Prosecutors proved in February that Rountree, Jablin's ex-wife and a Texas lawyer, shot Jablin twice, in the arm and in the back, when he went out to retrieve the Saturday morning newspaper Oct. 30. Their three children were asleep upstairs when Jablin was killed.”, “Rountree killed Jablin, prosecutors argued, because she wanted custody of their three children and because she was more than $7,000 behind in her child-support payments. Jablin and Rountree had been married for 19 years before they divorced in 2002, and Jablin was awarded full custody.”, “’Piper is a beautiful, gentle spirit,’ said longtime friend Lavon Guerrero, who traveled from Austin, Texas, for the sentencing. She also described Rountree as a ‘tremendous homemaker’ who was ‘100 percent there for her kids at all times’."

My recent incarceration for failing to pay money to an agency of the California Attorney General illuminated the same findings as Sherree Lowe, a recent Florida Senate hopeful, who was incarcerated for failing to pay money to a Florida attorney. Jails are filled with nonviolent men and women, allowing the state to receive Federal incentives for actively maximizing their sentence.

Michael Benarik, the Libertarian Presidential hopeful who was incarcerated for appearing at a Presidential debate uninvited, which provoked the adage ‘As long as there are bars between the lawful and the lawless – there is a measure of freedom in that too’. Martha Stewart, a feminist icon who refused to lose money to the stock market, made the same observation regarding needless incarceration of women after she was finally released, put on parole, and was denied the right to vote. Jim Traficant, a former Ohio Congressman, is drawing farm animals in the Pen for failing to hide contributions of money he received from his supporters, and for not being able to afford a good lawyer. Fathers 4 Justice, a group of Family Law reformers in England who all had their children taken from their lives, are being accused of ‘high crimes’ for having enough money to buy a beer in a pub and asking the question: “I wonder how Tony Blair would feel if someone took his child from his life?”

A minority is powerless while it conforms to the majority; it is not even a minority then; but it is irresistible when it clogs by its whole weight." Henry David Thoreau